Flynn Sebastian's Birth story

I was 42+4 on October 18th. That's 17 days past my due date. I was so sick of being pregnant. And, between wondering about a malpositioned baby and family conflict, I was starting to worry that labor may not start on its own. I didn't want to wait around until baby wasn't well and end up w a less than satisfying birth experience. Definitely weighing the risks of waiting versus a natural induction. Or, more natural than pitocin, anyway. Any induction isn't really natural. Id never induced w any of my other kiddos so even the consideration of it felt wrong, foreign, risky. But, after talking w several mamas who had successively used castor oil induce labor, and w my midwife's(Jen) go-ahead, at 2pm, I took 2 T CO in a small milkshake, and waited. There are different ideas about how much to take, and I had no experience... I was HOPING that junk wouldn't just send me to the bathroom in full diarrhea mode. Nothing. So, an hour later I took another 2T in grape juice. That was grosser. Like oily juice.

 At about 5:15 I felt the first contractions, and they started at 5-6 minutes apart, puny, painless, and short. Maybe 20 sec long? But I was hopeful that this could actually work! (Get out, baby!)

I had called a friend (Annie) earlier to let her know that I was doing this and I'd like company. So she showed up about 6 w Panda Express and we ate and hung out. It's kind of annoying to have someone there before labor is a sure thing...like, I hope this goes somewhere and I don't waste her time! What if I just cried wolf and I don't actually have a baby? Ugh. I had been pregnant so long it seriously felt like this baby may never be born.

Alas, ctx stayed coming along. About the same rate but started to feel like the usual crampy "real" ones I was expecting. I kept Jen updated w any progress. I really didn't want to have her come until birth was imminent. All my labors have been between 6 and 9 hours long so I didn't expect a baby until AT LEAST midnight. I was hoping for that soon! I let my other friend (Theresa) know she could come over any time, but no rush. She arrived at about 8.

Chris, Theresa, Annie and I watched a movie (Baby Mama, because laughter is good for labor, and that movie is hilarious!

"Have youw pawtnor masssssage youw pewinnium wif EVOO..." "Can't I just spray a little Pam down there?" Bahahahaha!!!)

Anyway...  Kids were in bed, labor started picking up, slowly but surely... I told the friends that I wanted to have Jen come over "when I have to vocalize through ctx." That started happening about 1am, so I texted what was up and asked her to

Come. Jen and Dani had a drive and weather so they showed up around 2am. I was definitely in a zone.

I probably had about 30-45 min of hard labor and transition. I'm pretty sure it was the hardest transition I've ever had. I kept thinking I had to push, but it wasn't quite right. I didn't have an uncontrollable urge yet, just tons of pressure. So i started pushing a little w each ctx because it felt like it took some of the awful horrible pain away. THEN I had a tearing/slicing feeling ctx and that urge you can't avoid. I screamed at someone to take my pants off. Ha! I never like to be naked while in labor. I feel like it's the one thing I can control so I keep my clothes on until the last minute. It's a small victory. 

I started pushing hard and expected a baby to emerge. At my last birth (arias) I almost had to hold her back, she was descending so fast. Nothing happened except the pain. I didn't feel any baby coming out, or any movement at all. What the HECK?! Where is the baby?!!!! I can't remember if I pushed again or just checked straight away. 

For those of you wondering why the midwife didn't check or help or something, I had asked her to not do anything except in case of emergency. I knew I could give birth and didn't want any interference. It may have been hard for her to sit on her hands but she did! She was super respectful of my wishes and took pictures of the birth instead (w her gloves on, of course, just in case!:)) 

So I put a finger in my vagina and could feel a baby head, but waaaay high, not any where CLOSE to coming out. That was super not cool. I had three more gargantuan pushes and then I felt the head move down. I looked up between ctx and said "somebody look at the clock. I want to know how long im pushing." It felt like an eternity! When his head FINALLY came out, w lots of screaming(me, not baby), Jen said, "you have an OP baby!" What?? Occiput Posterior, sunny side up, is NOT the most efficient way to be born because the head can't mould, and usually results in back labor, which I never had. Weird. But ok. Makes sense why I had to puhsh so hard. I reached down and touched a face (!) and then waited for the next ctx. 

I think I looked up to see Lucy, my 4yo, who was sitting in front of me watching, and said something like "look! The baby's coming out!" I was worried she'd be scared from all the screaming and you know, the head emerging from my body. I had prepped her a bit, but how do you REALLY prepare for seeing that?? Lol! She was groggy from Just waking up, but was fine. Someone had woken all the kids, who had all asked to be there, and the boys were fine. They both remembered Aria being born, so they were just excited. 

Had another ctx, pushed w all my might and the shoulders and body gushed out, in a giant stream of blood. Another anomaly. Usually the blood comes with the placenta which comes later, but apparently the placenta had detached about the same time as baby was born so it all came out together. Well, the placenta not yet. I was worried the kids would freak since I hadn't prepped them for a lot of blood. They seemed unphased.

Annie said "I think you have a boy(!)" and sure enough, BOY! 

Rowan said, "of course because I prayed for a boy!" 🙏🏽💝

I had delivered on my knees and I left baby lying where he slid for a second. He gurgled and fussed a little as I rubbed his back. They always look so squished and purple at first...

I felt the stream of blood so I picked babe up and Layed on my side to press my uterus and make sure I didnt pass out upright. Wouldn't that be exciting! It looked like a crime scene, just sayin'. I was glad there were plenty of people to grab fresh chux pads and make sure I didn't soil the carpet the unmistakable color of murder. Placenta came out, blood flow slowed, all was well.

I eventually went to shower, the friends trickled home, the kids went back to bed, and we weighed this monster of a kid......

....10 pounds 10 ounces!! A full 2 1/2lbs heavier than my last baby, and malpositioned to boot. No wonder he took some effort. 22 inches long makes him our longest baby, too. I guess I'll put away the newborn clothes. 

Everyone is smitten. The big siblings fight over who's turn it is to hold him. We re in love. 

Fun Flynn Facts:

*We named him Flynn Sebastian, which means 'the venerable son of the red headed one' which is pretty much exactly right.  Ha!

* Flynn gets to stay intact, just like his brothers. Born perfect. Staying whole. 😍 if you're unfamiliar w the beneficial functions of the foreskin, learn more at www.drmomma.org.

* Flynn looks the most like Lucys baby pictures. 

* Flynn has the shortest name of all his siblings. Only 4 syllables, compared w their 6-7. Oops. Hope he doesn't feel overlooked.

* we burned the cord instead of cutting it. Held it over a candle for 20 minutes or so. It smelled like hair held in a curling iron too long.

Lucienne's Birth Story

Annnnd, the third baby Hardy is here! Lucienne Claira Grace Hardy was born on March 4th, 2012 (9 days late, the little stinker!) at 2:45pm weighing 9lbs 1oz and was 21in long. She is perfect in every way.

I figured I should write down the events of that day before I forget....the details get hazy the more sleepless night that pass.

On Saturday night, March 3rd, I woke up several times in the night with contractions. Just one or two at a time, painful enough to wake me up. Didn't think anything of it as this had happened a few times over the last couple of weeks. Woke up at 6:30 to nurse 'Lias and the contractions started regularly 3-5 min apart. They didn't last long, but were consistent enough for me to believe they were finally REAL and I might have a baby today!

Got up, made the boys breakfast, considered going to church cuz who knows how long labor can last and if it was maybe false labor did I want people gossiping for nothing? Decided against church. :P Good thing, too, cuz I couldn't have made it quietly through. HA! I also finished gathering the things together that I was supposed to have on hand for the birth and get out my handy dandy microwavable rice bags that helped SOOOO much with pain management during my last labor.

I called my midwife, Chris, who henceforth will be refered to as MChris to diferentiate between herself and my husband, explained the situation and told her I'd call when things picked up. Picked up. This is a relatively subjective phrase. Things pick up gradually more and more and more until one pushes the baby out. Poof! Things have picked up! So, not knowing how long labor will take, and not wanting to cry 'wolf,' I didn't call her back. I figured I'd wait until contractions were nearly unbearable (again, difficult to determine as they're bearable the whole time, technically). But she, having delivered me before, was a tad concerned that this is what I'd do, end up calling too late and have a baby before MChris could arrive. She called me back at 9:20am. :P

My contractions slowed down around 8am to be only 5-10min apart. Talk about disappointing! I was really hoping that this labor would be even faster than labor with Elias. Alas, this was not to be the case. MChris threatened to hang out at the North Bend outlet mall in case I didn't call her in time so she'd be really close. I don't think she ended up doing that,

My friend Brooke, who was interested in seeing a natural home birth, showed up around 9am to hang out for the day. I say hang out cuz that's really what we did. She visited with me and kept track of my contrations and Labor Log (the details from which I'm using to write this post) the rest of the time.

Coralie, another friend who has delivered 4 children herself but never seen a birth, came within the hour to hang out and act as my doula. She was excited to "experience the miracle without the pain." ;) Can hardly blame her. I hope I get the chance to do so as well someday.

10:55am busted out the rice bags during contractions. Basically, just hot packs to place on my back or lower uterus during contractions- totally help distract from the pain and are very soothing. (Are you going to give birth anytime?? MAKE YOURSELF SOME RICE PACKS!! Or borrow mine. They are divine.

11:30 I'm eating lunch- a big plate of pasta and cheese, per my usual- and MChris shows up. She sets up her gear (birth stool, oxygen, heating pad to warm receiving blankets, etc) and hangs out with us. (Seriously, we're dancing to Black Eyed Peas intermittantly for hours.)

After a while, the contractions get so that I'm very distracted during them and Chris asks if he can change the music. I say something like, "Sure. Whatever. I don't care." which was pretty much what I felt. The music didn't matter any more.

Around 2pm the contractions start feeling pressure-y, like I have to poop (you know that feeling). I sit on the toilet a few times, sure that my body is about to clean itself out like it did with my two previous labors. Not so. I got, like, two little turds out. Talk about disappointing. Now I was sure I was gonna poop like a champ when the baby was born. Gross. Kinda every woman's nightmare. (Chris was mixing up banana bread about this time and everyone was joking that I was racing the bread- would baby be born before bread was baked? I was pretty sure not. It felt like this was setting up to be a long labor.)

 

At 2:30 I went to the toilet again hoping for that ever-elusive poop, had a contraction and pushed a little. But this was not a pooping push. This was a baby's-moving-down push. Oh, dear, the train is coming. Moved to the birth stool for a couple of pushes and then to the couch. MChris had told me during early labor that she doesn't recommend women give birth on the stool because gravity can help too much and cause worse tearing. No, thank you! I would haul my butt up and over to the couch! So I did.

The head was born in one more contraction I think. Then I remember seeing MChris moving baby's head and I was thinking "Don't pull on it!!" but she wasn't. She was just holding it as Lucienne moved it back and forth, trying to get her shoulders free. MChris also felt around her neck for the cord and Lulu grabbed her finger. I guess she was born with one hand by her face. :) Shoulders were born with one more push and the rest just slid out. Daddy caught her. He directly handed me the gooey girl and I remember just holding her and crying that it was over. After a couple of minutes, Chris said "we don't know if it's a boy or girl." Oh! I guess I hadn't checked that, yet. It didn't matter. And I was expecting a boy. But everyone standing around seemed to want an announcement, so I looked. Moved the cord that was between her legs and stared, is more like it. What's this? No penis? I'm sure there was supposed to be a penis. Hmmmmm,

"It's a girl...?" That was my announcement. Ha! We were so supprised.  And so happy that our darling boys have a little sister.

The Pregnancy Questions >={

I was at a gathering today and some girl who I had never met walked up to me and, without even so much as introducing herself, began asking me all of the usual questions about my pregnancy: When are you due? (none of your business) What are you having? (a baby, you idiot) Do you have names picked out? (and if I don't care to share...?) Is this your first? (are you really interested?)

Does this bother anyone but me?! I mean, come ON! This gal offered me nothing about herself to even give an indication of why she could possibly want to know any of these rather personal things about my body and baby. She didn't appear to be pregnant, although I didn't ask because it's none of my business(!), so I couldn't figure it out.

Do people think I want to talk about my pregnancy? Because, I certainly couldn't have heard any of these queries before so they just must help me out. I hear all of these questions enough from my friends, who, apparently, cannot remember the answer when I've already told them a THOUSAND TIMES when I'm due. I really do NOT need my business pried into by a stranger.

But here's a question: How do I get out of it?!?!? I am DESPERATE, people. I am at my wit's end with these insufferable questions, trying to be polite and answer the saaaaame question over and over and over with a smile. Really? Can't I just say, "what's it to ya?" and walk away? Or how 'bout "when are YOU due?" to the woman who couldn't possibly be pregnant? Or even, "do you have kids? How many? What are their names? Ages? Heights? Weights? Haircolor?" Does it seem ridiculous to anyone else that these questions would sound nosy and inappropriate but not "what is the date you are scheduled to push a baby through your vagina?" from A COMPLETE STRANGER?

Oi.

I can't take it any more.

Oh, the horror! (carseat rant)

I recently observed the following: baby put in infant carrier in big puffy jacket with straps slack. STRAPS SLACK! What is the point of the carseat at all when said baby can be flung from it in case of an accident?! Might as well lay the child on the back seat with no restraints. I didn't say anything because I think I've said something before and if ya don't care, ya don't care. It's not my baby, after all.

Still, it upsets me soooo bad to see this. Stressful, that's what.

If you are one of these parents who straps their baby in this way, I hope it's because you didn't know any better. No one knows anything until they learn. I didn't know how to fasten my babies until I was told, either. Btw, thanks ALOT, Brooke, for making me so aware and irritated at others!;)

So, here's the safer way to secure your child in a carseat: Put them in a puffy jacket if it's cold, just leave it unzipped. Fasten the carseat straps over the shoulders with baby's arms in coat sleeves. The straps should come down over baby's shoulders, fastening across chest (chest/nipples, not belly) and between legs snuggly. Then zip coat around the fastened carseat straps. Ta-dah! Baby is warm AND safe. =D

Hardys' 2011

In lieu of a Christmas letter/card, I will sum up our year here on my blog, where it costs nothing monetary and I can do so from my pajamas at any convenient time- like now. :)

We started off last year living in Sammamish with Chris working at Formost Fuji by day and appartment maintenence dude by night (?) or whenever he got around to it. Heh. He was looking for another job and had an offer in N. Carolina- whew! That would have been different. In February, Chris was offered a preferable job locally so he started with Loud Tech.

The boys and I kept busy with the usual: playtimes, cleaning, errands. I also watched a couple of little Andersons part time which gave Rowan some friends to hang out with and learn the ropes with sharing, playing kindly, not hitting, and all the other things that make life sooooo hard. :P It was good for him, though.

In June we found out we're having our third baby and experienced differing reactions from various family members. =} Let's just say we might not announce #4 if people don't care to be excited for us.

It was a year of weddings: Matt and Marie Bergman, Eloi and Kimber Garcia, Joel and Kristen Meyers were a few we were thrilled to attend and participate in. Yay for friends getting married! I love weddings.

In August Elias turned 1!! Little darling's not a baby anymore. Well, he'll always be my baby. :} We threw a small bash complete with a cupcake. He loves his cake!

This summer we went to the horse races as a family and the boys LOVED it! Who knew? Every time the horses thundered by they were in awe. Rowan would scream and say "again, again!!" It was super fun to experience through their eyes. We had front row seats, too.

We participated in a Community Supported Agriculture again this summer at Jubilee Farm and enjoyed fresh seasonal produce from June-Oct. The boys love going to the farm, seeing the pigs, picking their own strawberries, and riding in the hay wagon for Farm School. Even Elias was an experienced strawberry picker by the end of the season. I would set him on the ground and he would crawl through the bushes picking the red berries and eating them with fistfuls of dirt. mmmmm. =D

Rowan turned 3 in Dec and we had the craziest and most fun party to date. The kids all crowded around while he opened his mountain of presents and were just as excited as he was. HAHA! It was great.

November brought a lay-off for Chris- just in time for the holidays. That was less than helpful but turned into a blessing in disguise as we got to spend alot of time together and exercise our creativity for homemade Christmas gifts. We didn't do too bad, if I say so myself. I post a picture below of some of my crocheted goodies...just to brag a bit. ;)

Thankfully, we haven't had to be work-less for too long. Chris started a new job at Micron Vinyl this month. Yay! Gotta love a paycheck. :)

I have continued couponing and do love a great deal. This has really come in handy, not only when not spending has become necessary, but also because it's a great hobby- doesn't cost me anything!

Turns out, I hate blogger because it adds spaces where I put none and doesn't have an easy way to upload pictures in the appropriate places. >={ Anyway, the pics at the top of this page are from our "camp out" in the Keevy's backyard. It was just a day trip because although our other attempts to camp this year did not go as planned, we couldn't just do nothing- hence, the day trip. It was fun, though and we had a camp fire, which is as much as I can hope for from a camping trip. :)

Looking forward to an epic 2012!

New Baby Blues

Is it bad that I kinda dread having a new baby?? Not that I would say I don't want this baby, just that I'm not too excited about those first few weeks... never sleeping more than 2-3 hours in a row, the general pain and discomfort, having to learn about this baby, the nursing challenges, the jealous and probably-misbehaving big brothers. :( I just don't look forward to all that. Can you blame me? I'm very content right now to watch other people with their newborns and grimace with understanding as they go through all of the above.

On the other hand, some good things about having a new baby include having meals brought to us so I don't have to raise myself from my sitting/prostrate position :}, Mama coming over for a few days to do my laundry (I said "my" before I thought, because it's NOT all my laundry-it's everybody's- but it's my job so therefore, it's mine. ugh.) and make sure the misbehaving brothers are entertained, a sudden lack of heartburn, standing up on my own again, AND a tiny baby to hold and snuggle.

I guess it's not all bad. Just how I feel these days.

If you don't have something nice to say...

...don't say anything at all!

My mom used to tell me this all the time as a kid. I hope it sunk in. Why does it seem like some people have never learned this useful little saying??

I've recently rubbed shoulders with some folks whose (I swear!) favorite thing to do is nit pick and complain about all the people they know. It's exhausting to be around. Seriously, from what their friends eat for breakfast or bedtime snack to how long of showers they take to what they wear or don't wear to bed. And why do I care about all this? I don't! Sheesh. Tell someone who cares. Actually don't.

You would think that if we choose to be around people, we could at least find something we like about them and share THAT with others. I know I've had my share of negative chit chat about others. I hope that I say at least an equal number of nice things about the people in my acquaintance.

And how, exactly, should I respond to someone who only gossips rudely about others? I've tried my best not to join the conversation but rather make a joke about how I like the same bedtime snack as the people-who-were-not-there-to-defend-themselves, or try to change the subject, or not respond at all. It's difficult.

Anyway, if you have any helpful hints about what to do, what to do (besides avoiding the negative-sayers, which is not always possible to do)....let me know, please.